I think this morning of birds, of how Eileen loves them. And I wonder if she’s a bird I need to release. I know she isn’t well. But I can’t bear letting go. I see now how deeply important relationships never do end happily or easily, that flesh is torn and fabric hangs from the fence as you jump and get caught.
MLG: Releasing birds is overrated. Sometimes it’s easier to let them rest on your shoulder and outlive you.
S: If we don’t let go, Monkey, I’m afraid we’ll never heal.
***
The Sandbox is many things, including a long story about a relationship with a therapist named Eileen. It remains one of the most challenging, perplexing, heart breaking experiences I’ve ever had. Recovering from both it and what brought me to the therapy with her to begin with has been a long road. But recovery, I believe, is possible.
The book I’m writing goes into details. But in the meantime if you are or have been suffering in damaging therapy I have included some resources at the bottom of the section called Things That Help.